Divers SUCK

No, not the scuba people or snorkeling enthusiasts...I'm talking about soccer divers. The World Cup began last week in Johannesburg, South Africa, and it seems not a day goes by wherein some idiot player tries to win a free kick or a penalty shot by faking a foul. Aside from deliberately handling the ball (like Thierry Henry did not too long ago), diving is probably the worst form of cheating in soccer ever devised. The idea's pretty simple: wait until you have the ball near the goal, then act like your opponent smashed into you by falling to the ground (arms up and outstretched for maximum dramatic effect) in mock pain. Refs often buy the act, and when they do, the cheating SOB is either awarded a free kick or a penalty shot, both of which can result in a goal.



Not all players get away with this crap, however. This photo shows Italy's Gilardino faking contact in the penalty area with the closest man (the other team's keeper) three feet away. In this case, the officials saw right through Gilardino's act and awarded him a yellow card for his trouble. Another Italian player on Milan's "Inter Milan" squad was even given a three-game suspension from play following a dive that resulted in a successful penalty kick. Unfortunately, though, most divers get away with murder, and the latest round of World Cup matches proved to be no exception. Portugal's Christiano Ronaldo, perhaps the most infamous faker of them all, won an (ineffective) free kick against Ivory Coast with a spectacular swan dive; the nearest Ivorian defender to Ronaldo was at least two yards away. Italy's matchup against France wasn't any better, despite the fact that Gilardino didn't seem tempted to go for the turf belly flop this time.


It is truly unfortunate that a few players seem content to ruin one of the world's most enjoyed games by cheating, and even more disturbing that the offenders always seem to play for the world's best soccer teams and international squads. That being said, however, there's one group of teams I've yet to see a dive from in any World Cup: the African teams. Ghana, South Africa, Ivory Coast, Cameroon...these guys always come into the tournament at the bottom of the ladder, and if anyone has motive to fool the ref, it's them. But they don't. They never have. It seems they have this crazy thing called "integrity", some odd, unknown compulsion that makes them prefer playing in the World Cup and losing to cheating in the World Cup and winning. Africa might be "third world" economically, but in terms of sportsmanship, they continue to outscore almost every opponent they face on the soccer field.